A young man met a vibrant charming lady and asked her out for a date, the lady agreed to go out with the man. After their first and subsequent dates, they become passionate of each other. The love for each other started growing the young man it was like a dream come through, he loved the lady so much that he always want to be with her. The same thing with the lady, she loved the young man too.

But there is one big problem, the young man is an ardent smoker and this lady can’t stand it, she hates it so bad that she can’t be close to someone who smokes. The first time she found out that this young man is a smoker was the day he took her out for a launch, that was the very day she found out, it was like a surprise to her when his fiance asked the waiter to get him  some sticks of cigarette. She asked honey you smoke he said yes, she said but I don’t like that, seriously it irritates me. Okay then I will stop smoking replied the young man. Now this man has found out that his fiance doesn’t like him smoking, him now hide to smoke.

Finally after Six months of dating her, with beautiful memories of love. the young man was convinced that this is his wife, he then made up his mind to propose to her. As he was kneeling down with one leg and the other one leg was hanging he brought out a beautiful ring and said will you marry me? The lady in a state of dilemma said on one condition; if only you will stop smoking? The young man out of excitement without second thought said yes I will stop smoking. The lady said YES I will marry you. Both of them started celebrating. The lady was over joyous while telling her mother of a man who proposed to her, the mother too was happy. But ma there is one problem the mother asked what is the problem my daughter; she said he smokes, he smokes asked the mother yes he smokes, can u put up with that asked the mother, well he promised to stop smoking, okay I hoped he quit smoking.

After everything was done the young man stopped smoking and the lady was happy that his husband is a changed man. After some months interval of enduring not smoking, he finally on a sudden started smoking again, but this time he was hiding to smoke, he was playing seek and hide games, until his wife cut him smoking and he can’t deny it, his wife was unhappy about this and threatened to quit the marriage, there is no way I will be living with a smoker. But there is nothing much she can do, she’s already pregnant. But this situation is really devastating her, because she can’t put up with that, and this things is really causing a lot of havoc in the house.

I will change him I will change him really, do you think you can change him?

You’re a believer and your dating an unbeliever he proposed to you and your parents who are also a believer are against the marriage and you said daddy and mummy don’t worry I will change him. And the young man finally get to marry you and attend church with you for some months and stopped attending again and you asked honey lets go to church remember you didn’t attend last Sunday service and he gave you one excuse just to rebuff you. It continues to happen until he breaks the silence and told you not to ever tell him what to do and what not to do. You become frustrated and depressed. What will you tell your parents that the man you promised to change is now trying to change you to an you really think you can change him?

You were dating him and he has many side chicks and you’re very much aware of this, you cut him severally cheating on you but you keep on believing one day you will change him. Okay one day you will, you got married to him and instead of him stopping the same old life he’s increasing it to the highest altitude. You become frustrated and depressed because you failed in your quest to change him.

Your dating him and at times him drunk himself to stupor hmm and your aware of his misconduct, you see it with your two eyes and you hear it with your two ears, but to you, is nothing because you have planned how to change him, really? And when he marries you he failed to keep his promise of not drinking to stupor again, you become stiffed. You tried thousands of times to help him stop this habit but your effort didn’t work out and you gave up, and become frustrated and depressed.

You’re dating him and he smokes and you don’t like him smoking but you said I will change him and when you failed to live up to that expectation of changing him, you result to nagging. By then the problems are inevitable.   


Many women have failed in their quest to change their husband’s negative exuberance. And this has caused a lot of family problems. If you’re going into marriage with this concept of I will change him and when you failed to change him you will be frustrated, depressed and Oppressed.


While dating a man and you noticed there is this habits he exhibits and you know too well you can’t put up with such habit or rather you can’t tolerate such habits, don’t marry him WHY? He will promise you that he will stop such habits. But once he marries you the promise will become a fallacy. If you’re only going to marry him have this in your mind;

1 learn how to manage the problem and be ready to tolerate him

Some women fail to give their husband food whenever he comes back drunk and some go the extend of locking him outside; not giving him food and locking him outside will only make the situation worst . your husband cheated on you and you stabbed him to death, they will charge you to court and you end up in prison, we all know that cheating is too bad but killing him for that act will vandalize the family and you will still end up in prison, when this happens who will now take care of the children? Instead of killing him consider separation. The best you can do is to learn how to manage the situation and live happily with him

2 discover the root of his problems

In order to solve a problem you must discover the root and the cause of that problem. For you to deal with a man’s problems you must discover what leads him to such habits, if not you will be tackling what you don’t know. You may ask what can lead a man to cheat on his wife? Well LUST can lead any man to cheat on his wife. And you must make sure your conducts towards him is right otherwise your misconduct towards him can lead him to cheat on you.

3 it can only be God

When everything else fails GOD does not fail, when you have tried everything within your arsenal and nothing happened, you can only run to GOD for divine help. But most importantly you must be patient; you must have the spirit of endurance. There is no perfect marriage anywhere but you must be wise. IT CAN ONLY BE GOD.  



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