When it comes to marriage, is either your prepared to be somebody’s wife/husband or your prepared to be single. Marriage is never an act, you will just wake up and jump into. But this is the mistakes I see people make every day, no wonder within few months of marriage the husband will pick offense with his wife, I never knew you were like this, your mother didn’t train you well and the wife will hit back, you’re the worst thing that has ever happened in my life. Why is it like this? Because they never took their time to know each other.
You met her few days ago, just a week old date you’re already proposing to her and she accepts without hesitations, both of you did not know each other before and have no knowledge of each other’s ways of life. You were both blind folded by infatuation.
Date is the first steps to realization of each other’s lifestyles. You both are different in ways of living, different philosophy, maybe different religions, different culture, different character, attitude, and behavior’s. You just started and boom you’re getting married immediately, within few months of the marriage she started acting strange, you’re confused, you don’t know how to handle her nor how to handle her sudden behavior because you never took your time to know her.
HERE ARE 5 REASONS YOU SHOULD DATE BEFORE MARRIAGE
1 DATING HELPS YOU TO KNOW WHAT YOU’RE GETTING INTO
Dating gives you clue of the kind of person she is or he is. Is him hot-tempered, did he easily get upset and angry? Okay this is him how can I handle it? Can I really tolerate his behaviors? How can I manage this and still live with him peacefully?
Is she the type that find it difficult to say I am sorry? Is she organized? Did she picks offense at every little misunderstanding? Does she have a questionable character? You ask yourself can I handle this without been frustrated. Can I really tolerate this very person?
It’s now left for you to know your options and decide whether you can continue with the date or quit. Don’t accept what you cannot tolerate when the going gets tough.
2 DATING HELPS YOU TO UNDERSTAND EACH OTHER
No matter how cultured you are, you can never be on the same level of knowledge with your partner, you can never behave the same way, nor have the same attitude never. You both must differ in many things. Dating helps you to know what makes him/her angry, what makes him/her upset and what makes him/her happy. Everyone one of us have shortcomings but dating helps you to understand individual’s shortcomings, and how to manage and contain it if you can.
Do you know that lack of understanding one emotional state is a big issue in relationships and marriages? They’re at times ones need to be left alone and they’re times one need to be comforted but when you fail to understand this critical moment you won’t know what to do, you may be doing the right things at the wrong time because you don’t really understand how to approach him or her when he get emotional. But when you date him or her you will understand this periods.
Lack of understanding is the major cause of split in some marriages today, husband doesn’t understand his wife and wife doesn’t understand her husband. When the wife is busy talking unnecessarily the husband will get angry because he couldn’t contain her and the next thing it results to physical abuse but they could be a way you will react to her talks she will get confused and stop talking, you just look at her with a lovely smiles and respond honey you look more attractive and cute when angry and I can’t help myself than to keep admiring your wonderful looks, I am blessed to have you as my wife, when you alter such words she will just get carried away by your appreciations and stop talking. But when you failed in your approach to understand her it will lead to quarrels here and there, your husband is shouting like an angry soldier you call him with a lovely and calm voice darling I am sorry I never thought it will result this way I am really sorry my love, my hero and my heart beat, those words will calm his spirits down. But when you want to argue with him who’s right and who’s not right you will make the matter worse. The best you can do is to try and calm the situations down then when his happy you can peacefully talk to him in the language he will understand.
When there is understanding the home will be peaceful, even in the face of storms. No situation that can ever cause havoc because the understanding is too rooted. Dating gives you that advantage to understand each other’s lifestyles then with proper approaches some amendments can be made, when one understands in a polite way that some of his or her habits are not good he or she seeks ways to correct and adopts a healthy habits.
3 DATING HELPS YOU TO MAKE WISE DECISIONS
The ability to make rightful decisions is determined by proper assessment of your partner. In the process of dating you might find some habits that could alter your decisions to marry him or her, especially when you have tried to correct those habits and there is no positive results, with that alone you will understand if he/she couldn’t change now is it after marriage he will change? The ball is now in your court to decide, are you satisfied with what you have seen? Is him/her what you really wanted? You have seen that he’s too self-centered to even know that he’s wrong.
She’s too carried away by her selfishness and there is absolutely nothing you can do to make her believe she need to amend her ways. What else do I really do? Can I really tolerate her mischievous attitude? Some poor marriage decisions are as a result of infatuations, some people are confused between love and lust, your seeing that this person is not who you need to build a family together with but because you mistake lust as love you won’t know but when you finally say I do your eyes will open to the reality by then it will be too late for you to pull out, you will be unhappy in your home for the rest of your life.
Don’t be deceived by lust, make sure you’re not driven by emotions and illusions, do you really see her as your wife? Don’t rush to make a hasty decisions that will destroy your future. Take your time and decide if really he/she is the right person. It’s better to marry late and marry right than to marry early and marry wrong. The worst thing that can happen to you is to make wrong marriage choices, some married men/women are wishing to be single because of poor decisions making. Why will you rush in and rush out is better you calm down and find the right person.
Dating helps you to make right decisions, take your time, relax and observe your partner know exactly what you’re getting into. If you can be calm and patient you will avoid some future regrets.
4 DATING HELPS YOU NOT TO MAKE EMOTIONAL DECISIONS
At least 6months of dating will help you to realize if him/she is the right person for you, you don’t need half a century to know the right person for you, but 2 to 3 weeks of dating is not enough to propose and is not enough to accept proposal, somebody you never knew before nor have knowledge of his/her lifestyles and the next thing you’re getting married and you expect God to work miracles whereas he have given you the whole time and power to make your choice wisely but because of your impatient you jump into the train without knowing the direction the train is heading to and expect to get to your destination. I know you really need to marry as a lady but you shouldn’t allow your craving to marry to lead you into misery. He’s beating me and treating me unkindly could have been avoided had it been you took your time to understand and know him very well.
Your parents may be pushing you to marry but be calm you’re not marrying a woman that will live with your parents but with you. Your parent’s pressure is not enough reasons to marry and it will never be compared to the pressure to divorce if you marry wrongly. When you’re struggling with emotions and self-delusion don’t make any decision just give yourself time and the emotional doubt will subside and you will make your decisions. No matter the love and caring don’t be fast to ask her to marry you, no matter the affections he shows you don’t be fast to say yes, the right person will wait for the right time.
5 DATING HELPS YOU TO AVOID SOME FUTURE MISTAKES
Just within 6months of marriage you’re already regretting marrying him/her, your already disturbing your neighbors with quarrels every day, your calling your parents for advice, your discussing your marriage problems with your friends who are also struggling in their own marriage but they won’t tell you and at the end when all the advice you have gathered couldn’t help you out you start dying inside, something you could have seen had it been not for your impatient. Your expectations are nowhere close, you will be asking yourself how on earth did I marry such person, God why didn’t you show me this but his/her thoughts occupied your mind to the extent you couldn’t hear the silent voice of God when he was speaking to you, and your disappointed by what you have seen so far, because you didn’t date him or her to know if you can really tolerate his flaws, you just run into unfortunate marriage. Dating helps you to figure out what you can tolerate and what you cannot, but when dating is ignored because of desperation to get married you won’t know what to accept and what not to accept. Some mistakes would have been avoided had it been you took your time to know him/her very well.
Stop been desperate marriage is not a contract work that last for a number of time, marriage is a life time union you can’t afford to make mistakes that will lead you to misery. It’s better to be single and wait for the right time and right person than to be married and be seeking for divorce paper.
Listen single ladies and men, marriage is not for the unprepared let not what you’re seeing today cause you to do things you’re not ready nor matured enough to handle. Everything has seasons and time don’t force your own season and time to surface when you know very well you can’t handle it at the time.
Avoid desperation at all cost, avoid the syndrome of my mates are all getting married, and I need to marry as soon as possible, whoever comes my way is whom I will marry. Relax and wait for the right time and the right person. Marriage is not something you rush into to avoid rushing out, take your time, observe him/her make your considerations and be sure you can tolerate him/her.
Make sure you date him/her before marriage and while dating don’t have this believe that he/she will change after marriage because the reverse is the case, you will be disappointed when your expectations did not come through.
Marry him/her when you know you can tolerate his/her flaws but when you know deep down your heart that you can’t better quit the courtship, before it will be too late.